Screwed.edu
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
