I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
