Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
