I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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