This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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