I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
