1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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