ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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