he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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