I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
