whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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