The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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