ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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