we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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