Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
