If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
