he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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