I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
