i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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