tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
