I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
