I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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