I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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