OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
