I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We're too hungover to prance.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
