He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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