Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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