Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
