Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well I just put wine in my tea
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
