Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
