You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
