I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
