Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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