Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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