There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
