I hate your face
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I pour the whiskey from now on
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