I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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