Screwed.edu
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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