My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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