sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm having to shit out rocks
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