You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
