all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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