hotel room ftw
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dick very happy bro
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
