just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
