the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
