My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
