It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
