Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
