turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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