Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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