I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
