You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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